It is widely acknowledged that self-care is critical for our well-being. Yet, it can be a challenge to find the time and energy because:

• We are busy!
• We focus on other things (or people), rather than on ourselves
• We are simply not in the habit
• We have one or two “go-to” strategies such as going to yoga or for a walk and things get in the way: we stay late at work and miss yoga class, or an injury prevents us from taking a long walk.

Self-care design is a process to intentionally build a portfolio of approaches, large and small, that are adaptable to meet the moment and situation.

A self-care portfolio will likely include things we typically associate with self-care: taking a walk, journaling, etc.

A self-care portfolio can also include things that you can integrate into any moment — no stepping away, scheduling, or materials needed.

This means we can attend to ourselves anytime:

• In a difficult conversation
• During an interaction with a client, colleague or student
• While with friends or family (ordinary moments…and holidays)
• While walking the dog
• While preparing for sleep

Self-Care Design Method

Drawing from the Mindful Self-Compassion program and design-thinking, create a portfolio of self-care approaches that help you bring more attention to your well-being.

1. Identify your strategies that reliably energize, soothe, or support you. What is nourishing for you? Examples include:
   • Taking a bath
   • Listening to a podcast
   • Calling a friend
   • Going to a yoga class
   • Journaling
2. Do more of whatever works well for you, when you need it. Essentially, be more mindful, intentional and flexible about using the range of options you have available to you.
3. Also include on-the-spot strategies, that can be done anytime, anywhere. * This is usually the game changer!
   • There are many tools and practices from self-compassion, mindfulness and yoga that can be integrated on-the-spot to enhance your well-being.

Some of my favorite on-the-spot self-care strategies include:

• Breathing
  • Breathe evenly for more focus or balance (breathe in and out to the count of 5).
  • Lengthen the exhale for more ease and relaxation (breathe in for a count of 4, out for a count of 8).

• Naming or noting how you are feeling, with a kind voice. “I am feeling sadness” or “Oh, that’s joy!”
  • Identifying how we are feeling can help to reduce it’s intensity (if it’s a difficult emotion) or can help us to appreciate it more fully (if it’s a positive one).

• Attend to the body. We often hold tension in the body without even realizing it.
  • Scan the body: What do you notice? Is there tension in your shoulders, your forehead, your jaw, your belly (or any other places in the body)?
  • Soften: Might there be space to deepen the breath, and invite a bit of softness, ease, or release to places where you feel tension?
  • Soothing touch: Place a hand somewhere on your body that feels comforting or soothing. This is done not to fix or change how you are feeling, but rather to express care and comfort to yourself (like you might place a comforting hand on the shoulder of someone you care about when they are struggling).

• Talk to yourself like you would to a good friend.
  • What words of wisdom, kindness or encouragement would you offer to a friend, if they were in your shoes? Try on offering a similar message to yourself.

• Soothing with your senses:
  • Gaze at something pleasing or neutral in your space, and appreciate the colors, textures, shapes.
  • Listen to sounds around you, with a sense of sitting back and letting the sounds come to you.
  • Appreciate the sense of touch — the support of the chair you are sitting on, the texture beneath the soles of your feet, the warmth of a mug, the softness of a blanket, or the soft fur of a pet.

Small moments of practice matter. When might you incorporate mini-moments of care into your day?

Start small, start simple.

Identify the on-the-spot practices you’ll try, and when you might try them. Examples include:

• Starting your first meeting of the day with three deep breaths
• Listening to the birds as you walk your dog in the morning
• 5 minutes of gentle stretching before bed
• Notice when your jaw clenches or shoulders tense, and bring a hand to those places and take some deep breaths.

Experiment!

• What feels most helpful to you?
• Incorporate what you learn into the process.

Benefits of this approach:

• Lessen stress and overwhelm
• Restore and replenish at intervals throughout the day – in moments big and small
• Build habits to enhance clarity, self-awareness, and self-kindness 
• Tap into internal resources and strengths more readily
• A sense of feeling more at home in your own mind, body, and heart, through the ups and downs of the day.

Resources

There are a number of freely available resources for self-care, self-compassion, and well-being:

• Self-Compassion Break from Dr. Kristin Neff – a 5-minute guided practice to meet a moment of stress with more awareness and kindness.
• Supportive Touch from the Mindful Self-Compassion program — exploring touch as a way to express care to yourself.
• Self-Compassion in Daily Life from Dr. Chris Germer – identifying self-care strategies that soothe you mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.
• Greater Good in Action – a treasure trove of science-based practices for wellbeing from the Greater Good Science Center
• Circles of Practice – Live online guided meditations in a supportive community of practice, offered through the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

Support for Self-Care Design

You don’t have to do this alone. I offer one-on-one Self-Care Design through my coaching services and for teams and organizations through custom workshops.

Together we can:

• Reflect on what’s already going well, in support of you doing more of it
• Identify gaps and areas of interest you’d like to explore
• Customize self-compassion, mindfulness, and yoga practices for you
  • Custom yoga sequences
  • Practices for moments of stress
  • Practices for greater ease and relaxation
  • Practices for greater insight
• Address barriers and challenges that inevitably arise
• Experiment, and weave learnings and insights into the process to continually refine what works well for you.

I am a Certified Mindful Self-Compassion Teacher, Integrative Health Coach, Yoga and Mindfulness Teacher, and Designing Your Life Facilitator and Coach. I enjoy weaving these modalities together to help you feel more at ease, at home, and empowered in your everyday life.

A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.”

― Chris Germer, co-creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion Program

Copyright Wholehearted LLC – All rights reserved